Spoilers for early stuff in Assassin's Creed: Valhalla

Butch:

Played a ton!  If I had played this much of Disco Elysium, we'd be able to write about 9000 pages!

We are not playing DE.  We are playing Assassin's Creed, so here's what I did: 

Did a couple story clicks.  Got to where you have to talk to Sigurd to do the next big thing.  Evior said "I have been waiting years for this...." and then I picked "I need some time to get ready," because who cares how many years you've been waiting when there's DOTS ON THE MAP!

Thus, I spend the night getting ingots, and a couple abilities (abilities!) and a dagger.  I helped a guy who wanted to kill an animal.  I learned the game has swimming.  Joy.  Got some something something.  BOOM! No nudity though.  Sigh.  

But I am confused.  None of this was all that difficult.  A lot of it had that good "OK, where should I sneak?" puzzly AC shit, which is great, but the Kevin?  Kevin was pretty well matched to me.   Dots fell before me! 

With two very notable exceptions. 

One was a legendary animal that obviously wandered away from RDR2 and got lost in the mountains.  This killed me very quickly.  I am nowhere near strong enough to dent it. The other was a "lost drengr" (can we agree that we're not even going to try to spell shit correctly?  Yes?  Good) that, I am not kidding, killed me faster than I've ever been killed in a game ever.   I was dead before I really knew the fight started.  I was dead so fast that I didn't have time to read the dude's name above the large boss fight health bar.  Seriously. 

There is no way anyone could think that we're anywhere close to being able to do these fights.  That said, why on earth would we come back here?  The story's done, the dots are gone.....

What the hell? 

Feminina:

Ha! I also got to the point that I need to "Talk to Sigurd" and then said "later dude" and ran off into the mountains to check out dots.

Found that lady's comb underwater--is that your thing you did? I said I wanted to spend time with her, but apparently she just combed my hair. Whatever. 

Also met the Stag of the Bloody Pits or whatever--I actually got a lucky hit in and managed to get it halfway down, but I'm not that strong and can only carry one dose of food/medicine, so it was obvious I was never going to get it any farther than that. Once I respawned after that painful death, I just wandered off.

I found one lost drengr in a cavern...not sure if it was your same guy. His king was dead and he wanted to die heroically fighting me? Hahaha nice one, dude. He killed me near-instantly instead. That's heroics for you.

Wandered around a lot, solved some loot-puzzles, failed to find some loot I'll go back for another time, threw a guy's stuff off a cliff, raided a fort (forts! of course there are forts), set a few things on fire, synched a couple of viewpoints and then very cautiously climbed back down from them because you're right, the Leap of Faith thing where you can dive off high things into a pile of leaves doesn't seem to be very reliable here...yeah. Played quite a bit, accomplished very little to speak of, as we often do in these large games. 

Butch:

HA! We did the same shit!  

She….worked out all my tangles…heh.  

I didn't get to throw anything off a cliff, though.  

And yes and yes, that stag, that warrior.  You see what I mean.  They seemed rather out of place difficulty wise.  

Also, I COULD NOT find the last supply wagon.  I think the game, after a while just nudged friendly Kevin and was all "uh….you just burn it."   

I also kinda love that she said "we should avoid attracting attention here" then immediately blew her horn and charged screaming with her posse.  

Feminina:

I do love that approach to stealth.

"Shhh...be vewwy quiet...CHARGE EVERYONE LET'S DESTROY THE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Feels about right every time I'm quietly sneaking up on some dude and then hit X instead of R1 to assassinate and wind up just standing there next to him all "hey, what's up, this is a bit awkward but I guess I'll hit you with an axe now." 

I still haven't internalized that R1. 

Butch:

And then Kevin is all "hey, I'd hit you back, but, instead, why don't you climb way up there, call your bird, then swan dive to your doom?" 

Sounds like a plan, Kevin!

Feminina:

Hahaha! Yeah, that sounds like Eivor. 

We'll figure out the mechanics eventually.

Butch:

Unless we don't.

Feminina:

In which case we'll keep not assassinating people and leaping gracefully to our deaths. But, you know, looking cool while doing it.

Butch:

At least we think we will.  Have you noticed that sometimes the camera angles are....crafty? There have been more than a couple times when I've been in the heat of battle and, all of a sudden, my whole screen is, like, a fence, the game all "Trust us, what's going on on the other side of this fence is REALLY important oh you're dead.  My bad." 

Feminina:

Yeah, I have occasionally noticed that...no so much in battle, but while walking around, I can't see over one should all of a sudden or something. I've not been sure if it's intentional to increase the tension of exploration or whatever, or just an issue with loading the scene.

Butch:

Or something.....yesterday, I was sneaking into a place to get a thing (as one does), and I was in this narrow trench full of grass to hide in.  It was also night, in game time.  The camera kept getting confused with the narrow confines and, multiple times, I couldn't find MYSELF on the screen.  I had to use the raven to be like "Oh, there I am." 

I get this is a stealth game, but I shouldn't be so stealthy even I can't see me. 

Feminina:

Ha! That IS stealthy.

I like to be sneaky, but I do like to know where I am.

Butch:

It is seriously wonky. 

Also, have you noticed that night is particularly dark?  Maybe I have the brightness all wrong, but night is....REALLY night. 

Feminina:

Hm, I haven't really noticed that yet, but I'm trying to think if I've even done much stuff at night. I guess out on the snowy expanse, it's not as noticeable? I've been inside at night in the cut scenes and stuff, and that's definitely dim, but I thought appropriately so given the limited luminosity of torches in smoky longhouses...

Butch:

I was sneaking around at night most of my playing time last night, and it's dark.  I don't think it's the brightness either, as the torches and northern lights look right.  

Realism.  Annoying realism, but realism.   

Feminina:

The northern lights are very nice! Annoying realism aside. Very pretty. Man, I'm not sure how enthusiastic I'm going to be about playing this game if we're still in it when it gets cold, though. It's great for the heat, but the images of ceaseless cold will start to wear on me come winter.

I kind of like (while also finding it annoying...realism again) the way the screen starts to ice up while you're swimming to remind you that the water is very cold.

Although, in a failure of realism, you warm right back up when you get out!--never mind that you're now standing in a snow-covered field dripping icy water. 

Butch:

I'm guessing it isn't all this.  We've heard of England and Ireland already, and Basim is from far away.  
Was he in one of the earlier games? 

I do like the ice screen.  Makes it so you can't pull an Edward or Kassandra and swim for 909 miles.  

Feminina:

I'm not familiar with Basim, but I haven't played all the games, so it's possible.

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