Jake posted: " On our street there is an old fallen down house. The walls and roof are caved in, and what remains inside looks to be trash. When we moved to this town, nearly three years ago, I was surprised to find there was a man living in the house. He lived"
On our street there is an old fallen down house. The walls and roof are caved in, and what remains inside looks to be trash.
When we moved to this town, nearly three years ago, I was surprised to find there was a man living in the house. He lived in a level of poverty that most of us can't imagine existing here in the USA.
His name was Calvin. He was a little 'off' according to most people. He would sometimes knock on our door to ask for water or a soda. He creeped a lot of people out. I once paid him to do some yardwork, and after that he would randomly walk in our yard and start doing some "work" expecting to get paid.
I didn't know much about him, but did have a couple of conversations with him. He did suffer from some developmental trauma, and had been in state custody, foster homes and group homes until he aged out. At that point he was turned loose to fend for himself.
I don't even think he was the rightful owner of the house. I believe he just found it abandoned, and used it as a makeshift shelter.
One of the neighbor's dogs went missing, and was later found murdered in the woods behind Calvin's shack. Everyone on the street claimed that Calvin killed it. I am not sure.
The dog belonged to our neighbor, Goose, or his son. Goose had yelled at Calvin and threatened him on more than one occasion. One day, Goose and his 12-yr old son walked over to Calvin's house and removed the front door. They carried the door down the street to their house.
Calvin hasn't been seen in nearly two years. I don't think there was any missing persons report. One day, several police and crime scene investigators parked on our street and spent a few hours at the old house. They asked us if we had seen Calvin. They didn't seem concerned about his welfare, but rather were seeking him as a suspect...in what I do not know, for they did not say much.
Just recently Goose said something that insinuated that maybe he had murdered Calvin. He said "I TOLD Calvin not to come back up here." He mentioned something about Calvin having a knife. It took a while for the words to register...and he may have just been talking about a previous altercation. It was one of those conversations where you can't really ask for clarification. "Excuse me, are you saying you killed him?"
All of that brings us to my actual story. My cat, Bear has been missing for a few days. I have seen him playing over around Calvin's old house. No one has lived there since Calvin disappeared. I decided to go over there and search for my cat.
This is Halloween weekend. As I started walking through the house, I started thinking of all the ways that this adventure could turn into a horror story.
I called for my cat, but soon forgot about the cat and began exploring the remnants of the house.
No running water. A 5-gallon bucket with a toilet seat attached was in the bathroom. A TV was hanging from a rafter. Empty bottles of booze. Lighters and what appeared to be meth residue in a variety of makeshift devices.
I kept thinking about what Goose had said, and wondered if I would find a body. Then I would remind myself that the police had spent a few hours in there, and if there had been a body to be found, they would have found it. Still, I felt unsettled as I looked around.
But this isn't a Halloween story. Its a story of a my own prejudice against the least of these. A story of sincerity and faith.
Beside a makeshift mattress, I found this notebook along with this "Stop the violence" hand. Amidst the evidence of drug and alcohol abuse, there was something else. There was evidence of humanity and his deepest struggles.
Calvin was a homeless squatter. He suffered from mental illness and drug abuse. Maybe he killed a dog. Maybe he was murdered. Maybe he moved on. Maybe he is in jail.
I opened the notebook and saw the Lord's prayer written inside. I brought the notebook home with me.
My wife and kids had just left to go somewhere, I was alone in my living room as I began turning the pages of Calvin's notebook.
The first page was the Lord's prayer. After that, it was page after page of poems. I think most of them are original poems.
These poems are full of faith. Words are mispelled, some are hard to read. But as I read some of the poems, God opened my heart to see Calvin for more than a homeless drug addict with mental health issues.
By outward appearances, most would pity Calvin. His struggles are real. After reading his notebook, I see him as a man after God's own heart.
If he could pray and cry out to God, finding peace in poverty and solace in struggles, what excuse do I have in the midst of all my blessings.
I am including one of the poems, and will post the others separately as I try my best to share Calvin's Notebook of prayer and poetry. I want to give you a glimpse of a heart for God...in spite of outward struggle.
The Voice Within: A Pome (poem, I kept his spelling to convey both dialect and to stay true to him)
Life sometimes gets so weary with battles to be won. Thats why God the father give us his only son.
There is a road to travel and we are heaven bound. Through all the pain and sorrow a secret to be found.
It is in seeking we discover someone who'll gladly share. All burdens that we carry, all sorrow we must bear.
He is the Lord upon the cross who died for love of all. A voice within you beckons you to answer his call.
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