But first...
Dulltown, UK: Today's unusual china teapot is the one in the shape of the USS Enterprise spaceship from Star Trek. It is very attractive, but a remarkably difficult pourer.
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This morning, I was just pouring the boiling water into my mug of nice green tea, I don't bother with teapots, when the phone rang.
'Hello'? I said into it.
'Hello, Mr Whatt'?
'Possibly' I said, 'depending upon whom is calling.' I added, in an intentionally suspicious tone.
'Oh, It's alright Mr Whatt, I am Sir Reynard Pyker, I work at the Centre for European Studies at the University of Wetwang, here in London.'
'Reynard'?
'Yes, that's right... You see, I am currently working on a book about the history of the Hull Surrealist League, in the late last century - and especially the work of the poet Simon Doom.'
'Erm... excuse me, but don't you mean 'spoet', rather than poet'? I said.
'What?... Oh, yes, of course, surrealist-poet! You obviously know of Simon's work, Mr Whatt.'
'Possibly...' I said, again.
'What I'd like to know is...'
'No, no, hang on a moment Reynard - do I detect a slight whiff of a Northern English accent in your lush posh voice'?
'I don't, think so, Mr...'
'Not just a Northern English accent, but one that might have a tint of Hull, or Dulltown, in it...'?
'Now look here!... Look! But never mind my voice - what I'd like to know about...'
'About Simon Doom'?
'Yes...'
'Hello Simon, what do you want'?
'Hello... Er, Dave...'
'Well'?
'I was wondering if you'd put my new poem onto that, awful blog thing, that you do online...'
'Awful, Simon'?
'Well, my spoem will certainly brighten it up, and it'll bring in a lot more classy readers, you know'!
'I see... Go on then, as soon as I've had a gulp of my tea, and found a pencil, you can start reading the bloody thing out to me - I'll jot it down on the back of this pizza leaflet that came through the front door yesterday...'

Blaggard spoon tusk petulant warm cat.
Warm superintendent - my favourite blockhead chant.
Brent Cross, Golder's Green, Hampstead.
Pem Prem Pem Prem Pem Prem.
....
Blaggard moon musk popular calm ape.
Calm superior - my favourite death chant.
Upton Park, Plaistow, West Ham.
Mep Merp Mep Merp Mep Merp.
Funnels tunnels funnels tunnels.
....
Blaggard tune dusk pyroclastic farm bobtail.
Farm supernatural - my favourite castle.
Greenford, Perivale, Hanger Lane.
Pem Pem Pem Merp Merp Merp.
Tunnels funnels tunnels funnels.
Cat, ape, and bobtail!...
....
Simon Doom. 2022.