Enter the Plague

Feminina O'Ladybrain

Jun 3

No spoilers

Butch:

Well, Mrs.McP has COVID.

She's coughing but otherwise feels fine.

Guess it was gonna happen sooner or later.

Feminina:

DUDE. Mr. O' also has COVID. What the synchronous heck?

O'Jr. had a faint positive this morning as well, so they're both home. Grigio and I feel fine and are negative, so under current guidelines we both came merrily away to work and school (even though we've obviously been exposed).

We'll just do a rapid test in the mornings for a while, I guess, until we either have it or the quarantine period has passed. Seems weird, but that's what they say these days.

Mr' O' is coughing and a bit achy, O'Jr. seems totally fine. We figure Mr. O' got it at work, since some people were out last week.

We're all going to get it sooner or later, for sure.

Butch:

DUDE.

Grumble.

I dunno, man. Everyone else is, at this time, fine. Kids are at school. I'm letting Mrs. McP work at the kitchen table as it has better ventilation so I'm here in the bedroom where she usually works. It's odd.

She, too, is just coughing.

If we're all going to get it, why were we so careful for so long?

What's the deal with Mr O and school, though? When can he go back? Symptom free and negative test?

Feminina:

We were careful so we could get vaccinated, so we're much less likely to end up in the hospital if/when we get it. And so the caseload would go down, so if we do go to the hospital, they're more likely to have room for us.

But I agree, it does feel like an unsatisfying conclusion to the whole thing. In terms of narrative? It sucks, really.

I'm currently just sitting here with that weird hypochondria you get when other people are sick. "Do I REALLY feel fine? That bit of a stuffy nose: is that just allergies, like literally every single year around this time, or is it COVID? Oh no! I just cleared my throat! Am I about to develop a cough?"

I've just resigned myself, honestly -- I'm probably going to have it in the next few days, and it will probably be fine, and then I'll be superimmune for a few months until it mutates again. Annoying. But then if 2022 comes through for me and I avoid it, I'll be extra pleased.

And I think he just has to have been symptom free for 24 hours after the quarantine period -- I don't know if he even needs a negative test, which seems weird, but I guess they figure you're not contagious by then?

Butch:

Oh. Right. That. Hospitals and dying. Yeah, that makes sense.

It does suck as narrative. Hopefully, though, there won't be too many sequels.

Oh god, yes to the hypochondria. Yes. "AAAA I CAN'T TASTE THIS oh it's water." I'm so the same way.

At least it's nice enough that I can open all the windows. Ventilation. Key. Very key.

Man, remember when this would be like, end of the world panic? This would be terrifying. Glad it isn't.

Feminina:

Yeah, back in the day we'd be flipping out, sealing off the house with plastic wrap, spraying bleach on every surface, none of us allowed to leave home...now his work is just like "hey, let us know if you're dead, otherwise see you in a week."

This is better. Still not a good time ("AHHH I CAN STILL TASTE THIS TEA BUT DOES IT MAYBE TASTE A LITTLE FUNNY I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT USUALLY TASTES LIKE????!!!!"), but better.

Butch:

AAAAAAAAA what's this funny taste in my mouth oh I forgot to brush my teeth.

Whatever. Gives me an excuse to be outside.

Feminina:

MY OFFICE SMELLS WEIRD AND DUSTY oh right I work in a library full of old dusty books.

I'm going to go outside now. Get some fresh air.

Butch:

Mrs McP is loving this. She's all pumped up on Sudafed, feeling fine, and I'm going to the garden store willingly as it is out of the house.

Feminina:

"Why didn't I do this months ago?!"

--Mrs. McP

Butch:

Can't let her get too comfortable here. No sir.

I mean, shit. I went to TWO garden centers! I HATE garden centers!

Feminina:

Time to go back and start noisily doing 'housework.' Running the vacuum, banging on the radiators, crashing around in the bushes...OR...you reveal that you've taken up a new hobby! The trumpet! You know, to keep your kid company!

Butch:

Ooo! I like that!

But then, I lose the moral high ground when I tell the kids to shut up.

Feminina:

Oh, yeah...can't afford to give up that ground. You'll never get it back.

Find a bar with outdoor seating and just hang out there? For the sake of your health!

You can't be blamed if the line at that third garden center was just unbelievably long.

Butch:

It actually was long.

I had no idea there were so many different kinds of sand.

Polymetric sand is hard to find. Who knew?

Dude, I just got a phone call from Meatball's school nurse. Heart. Sank.

"Oh! He ran into someone playing something called jackpot and has a big old goose egg over his eye? What FABULOUS NEWS! Phew! I thought you were going to say....uh....something. Nothing. Never mind."

Feminina:

"Never mind! What a shame he has a bump on his head! Really, terrible."

I've been waiting all day to hear from school about Grigio, but nothing so far, and he'll be in afterschool now. Fingers crossed.

Butch:

It is quite a bump.

But who cares? Ain't Covid.

Feminina:

This could apply to a lot of things.

"Broken leg? Ain't COVID."

"Accidentally wrecked the computer? Ain't COVID."

"Ran off to join the circus? Ain't COVID."

"Spent 5 hours at the 'garden center' and came home in a supiciously good mood smelling like beer? Ain't COVID."