Oh, that's a nice camera!…

Dave Whatt

Jul 2

But first...
Dulltown, UK: Today's dictionary words are: annelid, manteel, quartodeciman, frumenty, trogon, and epideictic. Please have these words looked up and placed in suitable sentences, ready for Professor Mouldie first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. Plenty of extra marks will be given to students who turn up wearing outlandish and eye-catching garments.
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'That's a nice camera!...'
'Is it'?
'Oh yes! I have a nice camera too - none of this smartphone-camera nonsense - ha ha ha ha ha'!
'I see...'
'Yours is a black one, isn't it? Black ones always look the best. How much did it cost'?
'I can't recall.'
'Here's mine... See, it's bigger and heavier than yours, see how it hangs. And, just look at the lens! Oh, and you should see the size of the sensor in this babe'!
'Babe?...'
'Yes, I'm just about to drive into the country, where there's a well-known impressive waterfall. You could come, if you like.'
'Thank you for the offer, but no... I have some detritus in a gutter to photograph - I noticed it yesterday, but the light wasn't quite right.'
'The light'?
'Yes, not quite right... So you are off to the waterfall then'?
'Yes.'
'I'll bet that you are taking a tripod with you'?
'Yes, my tripod is a very good one - but how did you guess'?
'And you'll be doing a suitably long exposure of the scene, from a low point, I expect.'
'Oh, how would you know that'?
'Well, you'd want it to look clever, the flowing bouncing water to be blurred, so that in the finished print, it looks like moving molten glass'?
'Well... I... yes...'
'I have seen so many of those... I hope you'll be doing a good composition, though.'
'Composition?... I'm not sure what you mean...'
'You see... I was in the local art gallery yesterday.'
'Oh? Ah, the exhibition of work by that famous British photographer, oh, what's his name...'?
'Yes, really terrible compositions! It's as if composition in photography went completely out of fashion several years ago. "Throwing out the rules", you see'!
'Do you think so? I liked them, he is very famous you know! I wonder what camera he uses'?
'There were some scenes of people on a beach, the composition was awful - he even had people only half in shot at the edge of the frame! Goodness me! The pictures looked really awkward, and, really unengaging'!
'How much did you say your camera was, again'?
'I can't recall...'
'Smallish lens on it, isn't it'?
'Fairly small, I suppose... But, I must be off to see if yesterday's detritus is still there. Anyway, have a good time with your frozen waterfall! I'll look out for it - amongst, all the others - on Flickr'!
'Thank you!...'
'And, don't fall in!...'
'No... No, ha ha ha ha ha ha!'