But first...
Dulltown, UK: Today's zebra is the one standing looking in a shop window that is full of brightly coloured garments.
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Have you ever been interviewed by a media person?
I don't think I have, oh, but I remember, when I used to design and build theatre scenery, somebody would poke their head around the workshop door and say that there was a very nice reporter, and photographer, from the local newspaper coming round, could I have them in for ten minutes to describe the ideas for the set design?
I would wave a hammer, give them a stern look, and say, 'No... Go away!'
On the BBC, they have lots of people interviewed.
I sometimes listen to them on the radio, whilst lying in bed in the mornings, trying to think about getting up. The interviews are usually very annoying. The interviewer, the journalist, repeatedly talks over the interviewee, and asks another question before they've finished their answer to the previous one. Perhaps they try to cram too many things into the programme?
Well, it's only three hours long - Ha!
How about some advice for people due to be interviewed?
This is what I'd do, if I were asked.
First, before the interview starts, make it very clear to the journalist, that if they attempt to speak over you as you are answering, you will not be drawn into a shouting match with them - you will suddenly stop speaking. When they have asked their next question, you should ignore what they have just asked, and finish what you were saying earlier - or, you could gleefully exploit the journalist's main fear. Something that will really upset and unsettle them. They fear, is what they call 'dead air' - that is, silence. Broadcasters are utterly terrified of lumps of silence in their piece.
Inform your interviewer that if they speak over you, you be totally quiet for, let us say, ten seconds.
Ten seconds is a lot of time in a radio or TV show. The tension will be unbearable for them. If the journalist speaks in this otherwise empty space, you should immediately start your ten-second count again. If the interview is on the radio, and you are on the phone to them, in the first few seconds of the ten-second gap they might say, 'Are you still there?' You must say that you are, and then, of course, start another ten-second count. If the interview is on TV, you must smile nicely at the camera during your silences.
Yes, That's what I will do - if I'm asked...
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