my grandson's introduction to ringing
There were two good bits of TV publicity for bell ringing this week – one on the ITV News at 10 and one on TalkTV. They both advertised the delights of bell ringing and stressed that the music of church bells is one of England's greatest sounds. The former news item highlighted the need for younger ringers to volunteer to train since there are more bells in England than there are ringers to ring them (38000 to 30000) and the majority of ringers are over 60. A number of kids were interviewed at Lancaster and they did a good job of looking normal and making ringing sound attractive. The latter news item interviewed a Bristol student ringer from the Young Change Ringers' Association (YCRA) who enthused about the social aspects of ringing, the mathematical attraction and the opportunity to poke around in places that are usually barred to the public. Both segments had something in common – the influence of grandparents in introducing children to ringing. A delightful young schoolgirl in Lancaster started to learn when her grandad joined a local band, no doubt as a retiree, and the Bristol student was introduced , with a friend, by the friend's grandparents, both established ringers. It caught my attention because I am a grandma and I would love my grandchildren to have the opportunity to learn to ring.
Grandparents can play very important roles in childrens' lives. I was not lucky enough to have a grandparent – all were long dead before I was born. I did not have a "grandparent figure" either – although lots of honorary aunties and uncles, no one from the older generation took on the role. I think that I missed out. Grandparents are more than just the bringers of treats. We can provide an extra level of support for our grandchildren. It is possible to forge a special connection with them. When I held my first grandchild, already over 4 months old because he was born abroad, I was astounded by the flood of emotion and instant connection as we looked at each other. I had not expected to bond in the same way as I had bonded with my firstborn child. However, it was remarkably similar but without the exhaustion and soreness.
Grandparents can provide unconditional love, time and patience (especially once they are retired). As we are slightly removed from the "authority figure", we can listen without judgment and remain calm when kids, especially teenagers, tell us things that we would rather not know. We may have more time to focus on our grandchildren than time-pressured parents and provide a relaxed space where kids can have fun and thrive without pressure to practise the piano/eat their Brussel sprouts/learn their spellings. We act as a kid's very own cheer squad and can bring calmness and experience to situations. We also share family and cultural traditions.
Studies show that if children have a strong relationship with grandparents or someone else in this skip-a-generation role, they have fewer emotional and behavioural problems, particularly during difficult teenage years when some children need to challenge and even "break" with parents, but still appreciate the support and wisdom of caring adults.
Furthermore, as sharers of skills and enthusiasms we have much to offer. Grandchildren can learn to bake alongside a grandparent, potter in the garden shed or develop a love of nature through rambles together. So if you happen to be a bell ringing grandma/grandad – whether experienced or a newbie - why not take a grandchild along to the tower and introduce them to the community of ringers? From the evidence of the 2 young members of the YCRA, grannies and grandads are a common factor in their hobby and even if you do not feel qualified to teach your beloved grandchild to ring, you can point them in the direction of someone who can and ferry them around to make it possible if their parents are too time-stretched to facilitate.
Thus we can plan our own successors and how proud we will be of them.
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