Predictions – What Won't Happen in 2023

John

Jan 3

"In that time, I have something to say. How long before the Halkan prediction of galactic revolt is realized?" – Star Trek, TOS

I just read that it's the law that if it's raining in Sweden you have to have your headlights on. How am I going to know if it's raining in Sweden?

This is the first post of the year. That feels like so much responsibility. It feels like I have the weight of the fate of 2023 on my shoulders. Of course, 2020, 2021, and 2022 have been Godzilla-level disasters, except that whoever does the lip-syncing didn't get Joe Biden quite right.

But just before I started writing, I had an epiphany. Many writers write about things that will happen, but here's a list of things that I think won't happen. Of course, I can't guarantee any of this, but I'm feeling pretty good about this list. Remember, of course, I thought Zeppelins were a good idea. Oh, sure, you're expecting me to make a Led Zeppelin pun, but I'm just going to Ramble On instead.

Here's the first thing:

Western Civilization isn't done. At all. The construct and values of Western Civilization are under attack, but the roots turn very, very deep. How deep? They run deep before Christianity (I am a Christian), and deep as Greece and Troy and the Yamnaya people before them. This is not the last time the song of Achilles will be sung, nor is it the last time that Caesar will be praised.

It's not even close. The medieval cathedrals may cease to exist, but the spirit that created them is not done. The blood that created them still pulses in the veins of many on Earth.

No, Western Civilization isn't done. And it won't be done for a very, very long time.

I downloaded a copy of the Iliad, but had do delete it. It was full of Trojans.

This is, perhaps, the most important message that I can ever send. The blood of my father and his father, and so on, goes back into time. I do know this: the reason there is a phrase, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" exists is because, a son is like his father. There are many sons who are out there, who are not happy with the situation. The idea of the Left is that they'll be pushed over.

They won't. Push other cultures too far? Cities burn. Push Western Civilization too far?

Continents burn. The fight necessary to extinguish Western Civilization will make World War II look like a garden party.

Here's the second thing:

We haven't yet hit peak Elon Musk amusement. He's the first person to "lose" $200 billion in a year without missing a beat, and he's simply not done stirring the pot.

Here's the third thing:

There is only so long that the Federal Reserve® can print cash and pretend it's money. It has been nearly fifty years, which is a really, really long time in dog years that Nixon quit pretending that the dollar was backed by gold. The dollar immediately shrank in value, but remains relatively strong when compared to most currencies around the world even though I'd prefer to have a dollar's worth of gold from 1973 than a dollar printed in 1973.

The strength of the dollar won't end in 2023. But it's closer to free fall every year. Right now, the confetti that the Federal Reserve presents as money is still good. But when the people in Ethiopia and Zimbabwe and Senegal and Laos won't take it? The dollar will be toast.

My go-to on Asian currency is a local Spanish language show. I guess it takes Juan to know Yuan.

And yet, the world hasn't stopped taking the dollar that we print from paper. Why? The United States has a wicked large navy and about a zillion nuclear bombs. I'll note: Iraq decided to take Euros for oil.

Oops. Guess we need to replace Saddam.

Libya decides to take gold for oil.

Oops. Guess we need to replace Ghaddafi.

Since Russia will take gold for oil, and China will swap their money for oil...?

The good news?

The dollar won't end in 2023.

The bad news?

In 2023. No promises after that. And I might be wrong, so keep some silver, gold and lead around.

Here's the fourth thing:

The Beatles won't reunite. Unless Paul starts eating bacon and Ringo takes up alligator wrestling.

Who is the drummer for the Australian Beatles cover band? ɹɐʇs oƃuᴉp

Here's the fifth thing:

Biden won't get any smarter. And neither will Hunter, though I'm sure tons of the cash shipped to the Ukraine will get recycled back into Hunter's drug habit. Good news! It won't be long until he loses another laptop.

Here's the sixth thing:

Movies won't get any better in 2023. The best movie in 2022 was approximately the same movie as the best-grossing movie of 1986. Yup. Top Gun: Maverick was a good movie. Nearly exactly the same level of good as Top Gun. Avatar: The Way Of Ego was from the same person who brought you Aliens. Which was the fifth best-grossing movie in 1986. It isn't getting any better in 2023.

What do they call James Cameron when he's not working? James Cameroff.

I am somewhat amused. The very, very best movies of 2022 were a faithful remake and a pale imitation of two of the best movies of 1986.

Wow.

1986 was, observably, and quantifiably better than 2022 in every way possible. If you're thinking that in 2023 Disney® will stop putting out movies that show why kid-touching a good thing or feature a Disney® princess played by some 372-pound guy named Todd?

Yeah. Mass media is really dead. And in 2023 it will be a dead cat bounce. Maybe. It depends only on how many Tom Cruise movies are coming out. Who could have predicted that Scientologists would be more sane than Leftists?

Sure, there will be some movies that will be okay. If one movie in 2023 is better than any movie I've ever seen? I'll cover my nipples in opossum grease and sandpaper my eyebrows.