If you grew up in the 1980s and had access to the premium movie channels of the era then odds are good you watched Johnny Dangerously at least once or, in my case, several dozen times. Directed by Amy Heckerling, the movie stars Michael Keaton in one of the all-time great comedic roles of Johnny Kelly, a tough kid in early 20th century New York who turns to a life of crime because it's the only way to pay for the never ending stream of surgeries his poor ailing mother (played by Maureen Stapleton) needs and to help put his kid brother (played as an adult by Griffin Dunne) through school.
With a script that is sometimes straight comedy and sometimes Naked Gun!-level, the movie has a handful of important insights that can help you navigate some of life's trickier moments.
For when you need to speak up and advocate for yourself and your own best interests in the face of clearly toxic behavior.
You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once!
For when you need to make sure you have clear lines between your work and personal lives because that's best for everyone, especially yourself.
Around here you're Johnny Kelly, a law-abiding night club owner, not the notorious gangster Johnny Dangerously.
For when you want your LinkedIn bio to really stand out and catch the attention of anyone looking to fill a job opening.
I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.
For when that office Secret Santa gift is just mind-boggling but you want to put on a thankful front because it's less awkward.
Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it!
For when you want to say something nice even when another person is being just a tad ungrateful for everything you've already done for them.
Hey Pope, why don't you go build yourself a new gym at the Vatican.
For when you're mildly inconvenienced in the slightest manner but are just in a mood where you can't let it pass uncommented upon.
You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves.
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