But first...
Dulltown, UK: Today's carefully selected colours are: Venezuela violet, Canada crimson, Peru pink, Guatemala green, Tanzania taupe, Belgium brown, Iceland indigo, Argentina azure, Luxemburg lime, and Barbados burgundy.
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Well... I'm just in that sort of mood today!...
No, you see, there's nothing that can stop them! It's just the way the world is now. I must try to get used to it!
They do it, never-the-less, even though people have been injured, or even killed, it seems that it doesn't deter them at all!
What is it that I'm ranting on about?
Yes, it is, again (click), people riding their bikes on the pavement. It wouldn't be so bad if they were careful, but they are not. Yes, they are a bunch of bastards!
There, I've said it! Even the pleasant-looking girl students, who smile at you as they zoom up!
No - they are all bastards!
Of course, the police don't care - they must be very busy dealing with much more important things than toddlers, and old ladies, with their shopping bags, being run down. And the Town Council don't care either - no, they have even started designating certain pavement areas, and pathways, as officially available for cycling on!
I think they assume that all these cyclists are jolly good, caring, environmentally orientated, folk, who ride safely and with care and consideration, wherever they go. No, they are not like that, of course. Most of them are young male drug dealers, avoiding the main roads, whizzing about delivering their stuff to their customers - or, they are people riding high-speed heavy electric motorbikes delivering pizzas and hot foodstuffs from restaurants to people's homes.
Ha!...
Did I mention a 'device' in my title today?
Oh yes, I did.
It wouldn't do any good, of course, but I might cheer me up, and other pedestrians up, as well, if they had one.
See, it would be about the size of a mobile phone, no, a bit bigger, it would need a large loud loudspeaker in it. It will have some electronics inside it, powered by a rechargeable cell or two. It would be able to 'play' at a pretty loud volume.
There would be stored in it a message, spoken, or better still, shouted, in a very egressive gruff voice - a voice nothing my own, of course.
You see, as you are walking along, on the pedestrian footpath, and you see a bike, or two, speeding towards you - you whip out your device, and press the button, and hold it up. A deep and unpleasant gruff voice, perhaps like a zombie, or some aggressive monster in a film, would clearly shout out, and very loudly: 'Bastard!... Bastard!... Bastard!... Fall off your bike!...' repeatedly, as they go past you.
Well, it would certainly cheer me up a little bit. And you never know, the miscreants, might, in surprise, swerve and actually fall off their bike, and even hurt themselves!
Good!
Would I care? No.
Imagine if all pedestrians had these devices!
I'm sure they'd sell in large quantities, all over Britain, oh, and elsewhere, too.
I expect they'd go like hot cakes!
Hm, I'll leave it here, dear reader, I'm just popping into the workshop to make a start.
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