There has been an unedifying ding-dong on social media this past week with ringers blocking ringers, potential ringers being put off becoming ringers, ringers upsetting other ringers, ringers speaking their mind and then apologising for speaking their mind, etc. It is not clear what sparked the drama because posts have been removed and I may have got it wrong, but it seems to stem from a young person posting a video of himself and asking for comments. As we get older, we learn that it is unwise to ask a question publicly unless we are pretty sure of the answer. If I want to know what people think of me I would ask a trusted friend. I would not risk exposing myself to public comment, because some people probably find me immensely irritating/boring/some other negative emotion. Asking them to voice their opinion is foolish, unless I have very broad shoulders, but young people have not yet developed that cynicism and may actually believe that all comments will be kind, full of praise and admiration. Their ego will be stroked and some supportive and encouraging tips might be picked up along the way. Hence, they put it out there and are then hurt when a few, insensitive people say what they really think, without added varnish. It is nothing new, but social media makes the whole thing more intense and potentially upsetting.
But the question for me is, what are these posts all about? Surely, young people have teachers to advise and critique at the time and do not need feedback from random ringers who may or may not know what they are talking about. I would not dare put a video of myself ringing on social media because there is nothing praiseworthy about my handling technique. I have enough people in my life ready to tell me what I am doing wrong, and I do not need another few dozen. I am guessing that young men, and it seems to be young men, who post such stuff are expecting a positive reaction not necessarily a totally honest one. Perhaps it would be wise for anyone to ask themselves "Why am I posting this? What might come back at me?" before they press the send button. And if they do still decide to post, then they have to learn to take the occasional punch because real life is not always as nice as we would wish.
I launched The Accidental Ringer when I first started ringing because I did not want to clutter up any social media site with my witterings. I had experiences and opinions bursting out of me to share, but did not believe that Facebook was an appropriate forum. Over a quarter of a million visits later, I have an audience of people who, for whatever reason, actively seek out my blog. No-one is subjected to it unless they go looking for it. Many that do, are not even ringers. Sometimes they disagree with what I have to say, but always with courtesy and thoughtfulness. I hope my readers appreciate that whereas I may sometimes write as an escape valve when feeling under pressure, I also write in the hope that by sharing my experiences I will either amuse, educate or make someone feel a bit better when they realise that they are not alone. Others struggle, make mistakes, stuff up and sometimes cling on with their finger nails. We are not alone in our insecurities or in our occasional triumphs. I don't believe that Facebook is the place to share this and anyway, Facebook is for grannies, not young people.
Even I know that.
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