But first...
Dulltown, UK: Today's dictionary word is, metempiricism.
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Round about teatime yesterday, I heard a phone ringing.
But it didn't sound like my house phone, it sounded like a mobile, cell, one. That was surprising, as I don't have a mobile phone.
Well, having said that, I confess that I do actually have one - one that I was, sort of, forced to buy, that I don't use, except to log into my online bank account. I neither call - nor answer it. I call it my 'NatWest phone'. It doesn't work well anyway, well the phone does, but the bank doesn't - sometimes their one-time password takes at least fifteen minutes to arrive, or sometimes it doesn't arrive at all!
Still, there the phone was, ringing.
As very few people have my number, I thought that it might be NatWest ringing me, to apologise for something. I picked it up, and eventually located a suitable button to press:
I said, 'Hello...'
'Hello David, this is Stephen Penrose-Ark. I, and some friends of mine, run a gallery in Bond Street, London, it is called the Spittlenow Gallery...'
'Oh yes...'
'We have been looking at your fine-art work, on your blog, and on your Flickr page...'
'Oh yes...'
'Myself, and one of my partners, would like to come and visit you, and look at your work - with the possibility of a show here, early next year.'
'Oh yes... I have a window on Tuesday afternoon, around 2 pm? I also hope that you are aware of my "two-part" pricing system for my art works...'
'Eh?... Oh... What' is it'?
'All works, are two million pounds each, or, they are free of charge... By the way...'
'Yes'?
'What did you say your name was'?
'Er... Stephen Penrose-Tark...'
'That's not what you said earlier'!
'Ah, a slip of the tongue...'
'Well, Simon... (I had soon recognised my caller as being Simon Doom, poet, from the glory days of the Hull Surrealist League)
'Oh, hello Dave...' he said.
'What do you want, and how did you get my mobile number'?
'A friend gave me it.'
'You don't have any friends. You oaf!
'So... how about putting my new spoem (spoof poem) on your blog tomorrow'?
'Hm... Is it a good spoem'?
'Oh! It's a brilliant one...'
Granular grith gritho sponsal.
Web tock. Web tock. Web tock. Web tock!
Barleycorn starling - mellow time?
La-la. La-la?
Graple tith toth secmented.
Glut sill. Glut sill. Glut sill. Glut sill!
Bricknell robin - mellow time?
La-la. La-la. La-la?
Granular mam mamp tuffloud.
Ung date, Ung Date. Ung date. Ung date!
Barleycorn crow - mellow time?
La-la. La-la, La-la. La-la?
Graple mell mells wrectile.
Jot rocko. Jot rocko, Jot rocko. Jot rocko!
Bricknell chaffinch - mellow time?
La-la. La-la, La-la. La-la. La-la?
Simon Doom. 2023.
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