But first...
Dulltown, UK: Today's carefully selected colours are: glamorous brown, glamorous beige, glamorous red, glamorous violet, glamorous cream, glamorous grey, glamorous turquoise, glamorous green, glamorous pink, and glamorous yellow.
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Toby Breezbanter stood gazing out of one of his town house's upper windows. A refuse collecting truck edged its slow way below between the parked BMWs and Bentleys. Toby was eagerly looking out for the arrival of Maria d'Champs; she was, perhaps, a little late. Below, a man walked out around the truck and grabbed a wheelie bin, and began wheeling it. The man was Toby's long-lost brother Marcus, who hadn't been seen for many years...
A few years after The Great Warming and the Global Food Shortage, all the governments of the world created new sets of laws. Percy 'Ed' Stadge was a police officer. He really wanted a different job. He really hated shooting people for driving oil-cars and oil-bikes. It really upset him, he was a kind soul. He really wanted other work, perhaps, one day, with the squads collecting the bodies and taking them out to The New Forests for burial...
After leaving drama school, and seeing what trouble his friends were having trying to find acting jobs, Jason Smirk decided that he would become a comedian. It didn't look difficult to do, all the comedians he'd seen, made him laugh uproariously. His first gigs didn't go at all well, though. But being a rich kid, with rich parents, he started hiring paid 'laughers' to join his audiences. It went a little better, but once, one of the audience brought a custard pie, and...
The one proper entrance to Mewtal Castle was via the bridge over the moat, but the thick doors beyond were heavily barred. As the moon came out from behind a cloud, Fergus Shittler dropped into the ill kept, filthy, stinking water. Soon, it was up to his chest, it was cold and it was slimy. Rats scurried along the banks. A yellow light flashed in a small window ahead, and the shadow of some kind of large beast moved into view - it seemed to have horns...
The Fender Doncaster guitar was tuned to open D, for the slide numbers. Marge Snax picked it up from its stand and sauntered to stage right. She hadn't played in public for years, but she wasn't nervous. She looked down at the faces of the elderly audience. The first two numbers went well enough, but after that the drummer warmed up and then got into it big-time. From that point, she couldn't hear what she was playing at all - and for some reason, her feet hurt...
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